Trip to the ER...

So for the past few days I have been feeling a little under the weather. We went and had a sandwich for lunch yesterday, and when I got home I was feeling a little dizzy. I put a load of laundry in and my heart was racing so I laid down for a little bit. I was having a lot of trouble catching my breath, and my heart rate never slowed down. After about an hour I decided to call my doctor. While leaving a message the nurse asked if I was feeling anxious, well yea! I didn't have any idea what was going on with me, and I was extremely worried about my health and my little girl.

My doctor's office returned my call within a few minutes, and I was told to head to the emergency room so they could run an EKG. My doctor doesn't have the capabilities to run one in his office. I went straight to the ER, checked in and waited a few minutes for a room. It was insanely scary to walk into Trauma 1, which I know from my EMT training as a room for cardiac arrests and trauma patients, not lil old me walking in off the street. The nurses and techs were all really nice, and make me feel a lot more comfortable. I knew deep down that I was only in this room because of the equipment, but it was still scary. Especially since there was a setup for newborns in the corner, like the kind in the delivery room with the scale, heat lamp and all. I laid down and they hooked up the EKG, which the tech and doctor told me looked fine. My OB showed up to reassure me that everything was going to be ok. He noted that my heart rate was a little high, but my blood pressure looked good.

They monitored me for about 2 hours, and the OB nurse came in to check on the baby. The babies heart rate was 140-150 and sounded strong, and the nurse told me that apparently I was experiencing what they call "irritability" which are minor contractions that last for about 10 seconds. At this point the ER had already cleared me for discharge, but the nurse went to check with my doctor to make sure it was ok to release me. He said it was, and to schedule a follow up appointment for today, which I did.

I was discharged and instructed to keep up my fluid intake [like I can handle 100 more trips to the bathroom each day! lol] and to relax until I see my doctor.

So here I sit, relaxing.

Promises For My Lil Princess..

I can think of so many things that I want to say and do, and even more things that I never want to say or do... You aren't even here yet and I already have this overwhelming urge to protect you, and I love you more then I thought was possible! Here are a few promises to always remind me [and you] that I only want what is best for you, and I just want you to be happy and healthy.

I promise to always love you, and never give up on you. I will always stand beside you and stick up for you no matter what. I promise to do everything in my power to protect you from the cruelties of the world around us, and to always be there to mend your heart when it gets broken. I will never sugar coat things or lie to you, and will always be willing to tell you the truth when you ask for it. I will share my life stories and experiences with you in hopes that you can learn from my mistakes, or at least find comfort in mine as you move through life and make mistakes of your own. I promise to help you convince Daddy that you need a puppy or kitten of your own, once you are old enough to take care of it and be responsible for it. I will always have lots of hugs and kisses for you, and to do everything I can to make you smile, especially if you're having a bad day. I will hold your hand when you need extra strength, and I will hold Daddy's hand when you need to be independent. I will spend every spare second that I have with you. I will take you to the park, and to the mall, and wherever else you'll need to go in life. I promise to always have time for you, and never put anything before you. If you need me, I will be there, no questions asked.

I can't promise you that things will always be easy, or that life will always go your way.. But I can promise you that I will never give up, and never stop trying to make your life better. Life isn't easy, and it definitely isn't fair. I can't promise that our lives will be perfect, but I can promise that you will be loved and spoiled and you will always be our little princess.

3D Ultrasound

Yesterday we had our 3D ultrasound, what an amazing experience!! I think it all became truly real for me last night.. I mean, it has felt real for a while, and setting up the nursery and stuff made me realize that this was actually happening.. Going to our childbirth class yesterday, then going to the ultrasound just made everything fall into place. I admit, I was a little freaked out last night!

The ultrasound was awesome! Both of our moms were there, along with my step dad and his mom's boyfriend. What an experience, I'm so glad I got to share this with my mama! We had a 25 minute session, and our little princess was being stubborn. At first we got a few good glimpses of her face, but she always has her little arm up. She was grabbing her toes, so her foot was in front of her face for part of the session, and then she completely turned to face my back after a while! I don't think she was in the mood for getting her picture taken!! We got to hear her heartbeat, nice and strong as always. What a beautiful sound!! The tech also took a still shot of the heartbeat, I love that picture! It was awesome to sit and watch for so long, and to let the grandmas see their little grand daughter.

The childbirth class was very informative, but I still don't feel prepared! We had an amazing teacher, who may also end up being one of our labor and delivery nurses, or my lactation specialist in the hospital. We watched videos and talked about everything from pregnancy to newborn care. I love the breathing and relaxation techniques, and hope they work during labor! It was funny to see my fiance during this class, and to see his reaction. When she showed posters that show the different stages of pregnancy and how our organs and bodies are changed and squished I think he felt a little sorry for me. Especially when it came to the 8-9 month pregnant belly, once the baby drops. He laughed when she said that at that point I would be in the bathroom constantly because I already am. Apparently, that will only get more frequent, so I'll be taking my pillow in there and moving in!

I failed my one hour glucose screening and had to return for the 3 hour. I just received an email with the results, and only 1 of the 4 measurements was high, so I'm hoping they consider that a pass. I'm already on an iron supplement due to anemia, and it has been making me pretty sick at night. I just hope everything else goes well. I can't believe that I will have a baby in less then 3 months, it is the craziest feeling in the world!

Life Changes...

Sometimes for the worst, but lately its been for the best.

What I don't understand is why people can't accept this? Why must I continue to be the person I was several years ago, after all that I have been through and am dealing with? I am preparing for a baby, to become a first time mom... I am in no way, shape or form anything like I was a few years ago. I don't laugh at the same jokes, I don't make the same choices.. I have trouble understanding the people who expect me to still be the same. I've had to grow up, change my life, and make choices based on the best interests of my family, not just myself.

I find it hard to comprehend why people think it is best to stay stuck in the past. I don't like who I was five years ago. I was immature and making stupid decisions. Over the past several years I have learned a lot about myself, and built a strong relationship with the man I plan on spending my life with. We are expecting a little princess in a few months, and this has just caused even more change and responsibility in my life. I would die if my little girl grew up and acted like I did when I was a teenager. I have a whole new perspective on life, and I'm tired of the people from my past not realizing this.

Just because you are still stuck in the drama, and you haven't done anything to better yourself or your life doesn't mean that I want to be dragged down with you. Every time there is drama or something stupid going on I don't need to hear about it. I don't feel like I'm better then these people, but I am definitely better off. I have struggled and worked hard to get where I am, I have my own car, a house, and my own family. I no longer live with my parents, or depend on someone else for my food, money or anything. I have grown up, moved on, and I wish people could see that this is what is best for me.

I am no longer the party girl, I don't care about drama, and I don't have time to help mend petty fights. I am an adult, I have a child on the way, and my life revolves around this little girl inside of me.

My Story continued...

Although my fiance made it clear that he didn't want kids, at least not anytime soon, he has adapted to the pregnancy, and is more excited then I had ever expected. I was afraid he would be a little disappointed when we found out she is a girl, I think every man dreams of having a son lol. He didn't show any disappointment, and very quickly began referring to our baby as his little princess.

I am in shock that my pregnancy is almost over, and that these months have passed by so quickly! I was warned by many that I would be miserable, and pregnancy was 9 months of suffering. I beg to differ! I have loved every second, every wiggle and kick, and even the swelling and discomfort of a breech baby who has her head buried in my rib cage! All of the minor things that most people blow out of proportion are nothin compared to the thought of being able to hold my little girl in a few months. I love being pregnant, I love my belly, and I love the 30 pounds I have gained so far. I have no regrets, and as long as my little girl and I are healthy, I will take it all in and enjoy every second.

I was always an average girl, not super skinny, but not overweight. I was a little thick when I got pregnant, and I have made it my goal to not stress on the weight I gain. Although I makes jokes to my fiance and my family, I actually don't mind the extra weight. I also don't mind the idea of having to work it all off once the baby comes. I look forward to our strolls around the neighborhood, walking a baby has got to be easier then walking my 70 pound pit bull! I see other women who are super tiny and are 6-7 months pregnant, and it makes me love my bump even more. I started showing somewhat early, especially for a first pregnancy, and I thought I was weird at first. I know everyone is different, but it felt strange to go against all the "rules" of What to Expect and other pregnancy books and sites. I embraced my bump though, and I love it! I don't even care about the couple of stretch marks that have shown up on my tummy, haha especially since I can't see them!!

June 15, 2010

Dear Baby,

We had another doctor's appointment yesterday, and since the doctor was running late he did an ultrasound to make up for it! We are so blessed to be able to see you every time we go to the doctor! It is so reassuring to know that you are doing well, and that everything looks good. Plus, I love watching you on the screen!!

The appointment was pretty quick, he did an ultrasound and said that you look great, and that everything else looks good. He also told us that you are breech, with your head up by my rib cage on the right side, and your feet are down by my left hip. I had been wondering what was digging into my ribs this week! You didn't move around during the ultrasound, I think you might have been sleeping. Your heartbeat looked and sounded strong, and you are getting so big! When we walked into the room, there was someone elses ultrasound on the screen, and it was a picture of a baby maybe 7 or 8 weeks along, like when we first saw you! It seems like so long ago that you were just a little bean! The doctor is sticking with the original due date of September 14, even though you have been consistently measuring 2 weeks ahead. Mommy has gained 35 pounds according to the scale at the doctor yesterday, but I am convinced that since we've been going in the afternoon, I have been weighing a little heavier then I should be. I know I weigh less in the mornings, but the numbers say otherwise! Although I admit it, I have been indulging some of my cravings. I figure as long as baby and Mommy are both healthy, that is all that matters!!

I went in this morning to do a glucose test for Gestational Diabetes. They make you drink this really syrupy drink and wait an hour, then draw your blood to check your sugar levels. I am hoping it comes back normal, so I don't have to sit through the 3 hour test!!

We are going for the 3d ultrasound this Saturday, and both of your grandmas will be there to share the experience with us! I cannot wait to see your little face in 3d, and see just how cute you are!!

Things are moving along pretty quickly now, I am in my 3rd trimester, and you are due in about 10 or 11 weeks! The baby shower is coming up in less then a month, and then you will be here soon after! Mommy and Daddy are so excited! We have had so much fun building your nursery furniture and setting up your stroller, it's all ready for you in your room, we're just waiting on you now! My next doctor appointment is in 3 weeks instead of 4, which makes it more of a reality that we are coming down the last stretch!

Mommy has been getting a little more uncomfortable lately, between the heat and the belly! Especially with your little head digging into my ribs, making it hard to sit down or lean forward! You kick a lot, and move and wiggle around too. Daddy has felt you move a lot, he lays his head on my tummy and talks to you, and you give him big ol' kicks to the head! He did this the first time and you kicked him and moved all around, and the other night he did it again, but you only kicked once or twice, you must have been sleepy! We can also see you kicking and punching just by looking at Mommy's tummy, it moves and jumps, it's very entertaining!

I am so excited for the ultrasound this weekend, I can't wait to see you again, and to see what you look like in 3d!!

Until next time, Mommy loves you little bean!

May 17, 2010

Dear Baby,

We are over halfway there!! We have decided to name you Ryley, but haven't agreed on a middle name yet. We may pass down Mommy's middle name, or we may give you a name that is just for you. We had another appointment today, and our 20 week ultrasound done a few weeks ago.. At the 20 week scan, the tech did all of her measurements and checked to make sure you were growing properly. She had trouble trying to confirm that you are a little princess, but said she guessed girl. Although it took her a while to get all of her measurements, especially since they take 3 of each, we didn't complain because we got to watch you wiggle around for almost an hour!! This was awesome!! You measured a little bigger then they were thinking, 21 weeks and 3 days when you should have been about 20 weeks. Mommy is measuring bigger and bigger every day too!!

At our appointment today the doctor told us that everything looked great on the 20 week scan, and he did another ultrasound to confirm your gender, and to see if you still measured ahead. You FINALLY opened your legs, and let us have a good peek! You are most definitely, 100% PRINCESS!!! We were pretty convinced, but it's nice to not have any doubts now, especially since we've already started buying a lot of pink!!! You measured at about 25 weeks today, still about a week ahead, so the doctor changed my due date to August 31, instead of the original September 14. He is pretty convinced that you'll be here by Labor Day! You were being silly today, opening and closing your mouth almost like you were talking, or blowing bubbles. Mommy and Daddy were laughing, you're going to be talkative like your mama! It's so amazing to see how much you have grown since our very first ultrasound!! 4 months ago we couldn't even see you on the screen, now you are a beautiful baby girl, growing every day!! You weigh 1.7 lbs, and your heartbeat is nice and strong.

He told us that we should sign up for the childbirth prep class in June, rather then waiting til the later class on August 14 just to be safe, so I'll be looking into that soon. Mommy also has a breastfeeding class tomorrow morning at the WIC office, so that should be interesting.

Mommy is graduating in 10 days so things have been a little stressful lately, plus Daddy is trying to finish school by the time you get here, and he's trying to get a better job. The best part of my days is when I feel you wriggling around in there, it always makes me smile!! Daddy got to feel a couple kicks the other night, but you always stop kicking and moving when someone touches my tummy. I love feeling you move around, and I hope you'll let Daddy feel more pretty soon. Let Grandma and everyone feel you soon too, they have been waiting patiently!!

I cannot believe you will be here in 3 months, this has flown by!! I am so excited to finally meet you, and to be able to hold you. I wonder what you are going to look like and if you will have your Daddy's eyes. I wonder if you are going to be loud and active like Mommy, or calm and relaxed like Daddy. I wonder what you will grow up to be, and what you will dream about achieving in your life. This is all becoming so real now, but I know it won't feel completely real until you are here with us.

Until next time, Mommy loves you little bean!!

April 20, 2010

Dear Baby,

Oh baby! We had our doctor appointment yesterday, and Mommy and Daddy absolutely LOVE the new doctor! He is so nice, and funny, and he spends lots of time with us, answering our questions!! Plus, we've seen him twice this month, and both times he did an ultrasound, even though we weren't due for one!!

He peeked at you yesterday, and he's pretty sure you're going to be a little GIRL!! You are also measuring big compared to how far along they thought I was. We already thought I may be more then the 18 weeks and 6 days the doctor thought I was, especially since you measured a little bigger in your second ultrasound. Mommy thought she was about 19 weeks and 4 days along according to the second ultrasound, but yesterday we discovered that you are measuring at 20 weeks!! Our 20 week scan is scheduled for next week, so the tech will measure you again and check to make sure you aren't hiding any boy parts!!

We are trying to think of names for you, and having a very rough time. We haven't agreed on any so far, so wish us luck baby!! All of my blood tests came back negative for any genetic disorders, so it looks like you're going to be a perfect little princess in a few months! I am so glad that you are healthy, and growing like you should be!! Mommy is growing too, I have gained a total of 14 pounds since we found out I was pregnant!! The doctor said my gain so far is fine, although I'm a little baffled! I only gained about 6-7 pounds from January to March, but since March 18 I have added another 7 pounds!! That seems like a lot for one month, but my tummy has popped out, and everyone can definitely tell that there's something [you!] in there!!

5 months means we are half way there, it seems like it has only been a few weeks since we found out! We are having a blast looking online for swings and stuff for you, and now Mommy can finally start going and picking out clothes!!

I can't wait to meet you Princess, Mommy and Daddy are so excited!! We really thought we were going to have a little boy, but you sure tricked us!! My mommy intuition told me boy, but I guess I was wrong!! We can't wait for you to get here so we can love you and hold you.

Until next time, Mommy loves you little bean!

April 8, 2010

Dear Baby,

I feel horrible because I didn't write after we had our last appointment on March 18. This was an amazing day because we got to hear your little heartbeat!! Your heart rate was 153, and it took a few minutes for the doctor to find it, but once he did Mommy and Daddy were in awe. What a beautiful sound!!

A lot has happened since the last time I wrote almost 2 months ago, and there is so much more coming up soon!! Since February we have gone to the doctor to hear your heartbeat, moved from Stockton to Tracy, and Mommy found out that she'll be done with school in May, rather then July like I had originally thought!

I finally have most of my energy back, just in time for my belly to start growing and give me back pain! Moving was definitely a challenge because I felt useless since I couldn't help move anything. It's worth it though because we live in a bigger place now, with lots of room for you once you arrive. It is also a safer neighborhood, with more of our family close by!

Today Mommy had to make an emergency trip to the doctor because I was having really sharp pains in my shoulder blade. I was really worried that something was wrong, but Dr Nguyen made me feel better, and told me that I probably just strained something. When we moved we had to switch doctors and today was the first time we met him, and we really like him! He is a really nice guy, who likes to make jokes and made Mommy feel really comfortable. He also did an ultrasound so we could see you, even though we weren't supposed to be able to do this for 3 more weeks!! We go back to the doctor on April 19 [your cousin Daniel's 10th birthday!!] and by then we'll be able to schedule our anatomy sonogram so we can find out whether you're a boy or girl!!! The doctor will also be determining our actual due date since the last doctor changed it, and confused us. The doctor says I am 17 weeks and 2 days pregnant today according to the first ultrasound, and 18 weeks according to the second one. Hopefully we can find out for sure, it sure is confusing!!

Time has passed so quickly. I feel like I just found out I was pregnant yesterday, and in reality it has been 4 months! I'm already halfway through the 9 months, which means we are that much closer to finally getting to meet you!!

I promise I will write again after our next appointment and sonogram, now that everything has settled down and we're done moving I should have plenty of time! I don't see myself being able to do much for the next couple months except for relaxing and making sure I am taking good care of myself, and you of course.

Until next time, Mommy loves you lil bean!!

February 19, 2010

Dear Baby,

Today we had our 2nd doctor appointment. When the doctor did the ultrasound, he discovered that you are now 44mm CRL, which is almost 2 inches! This changed me from 10 weeks and 3 days along to 11 weeks and 1 day. Although the doctor said the expected due date won't change, it was recalculated to September 9, but I hear from everyone that this will change everytime we go to the doctor.

The ultrasound was amazing, Mommy and Daddy could actually see you this time! Instead of a little blob, you actually look like a baby now! We could see your head, and your heartbeat, plus your little hand and legs moving around. At first you were sitting with your little hand on your head, but when Mommy started laughing you started jumping around, and turning your head back and forth. Wow! Seeing you move was the most amazing feeling, and the best thing I have seen in my life. I know that as time goes by there will be more amazing things to see and hear, especially as you grow up! But watching you move around for the very first time is something we will never forget. I looked up at your daddy and he had the biggest smile on his face, and said how cool it was to see you moving around! We still didn't get to hear your little heartbeat, but the doctor said we will for sure at our next appointment. We are so excited!!

Mommy has been feeling a lot better for the past couple weeks. I don't feel sick anymore, just tired a lot of the time. I have gained 3 pounds since the last appointment, and the doctor said that we are both moving right along! I've been a little grumpy lately, starting arguments with Daddy and calling Grandma to whine, but other times I feel perfectly content.. maybe a little hungry, but happy! I am still working on eating healthy, for some reason you always seem to want french fries!! Ive been mixing in fruits and vegetables, and lots of juice and water, trying to balance out Mommy and lil bean's trips to McDonalds!!

We still haven't decided on any names for you yet, I think this will get easier once we find out if you are a girl or a boy! I know most people pick out names for both, but Mommy and Daddy are having a lot of trouble picking girl names for some reason!! It's very hard to name someone you haven't met, or even seen yet. Whenever we named our puppies we waited til we spent time with them, and played with them, to see what names fit best. How am I ever going to pick a name that fits before I meet you!? I'll get to work on that one, but until then you're our lil bean!

Until next time, Mommy loves you lil bean!

January 23, 2010

Dear Baby,

On January 15, we realized that you were on your way. I took 2 pregnancy tests, and they both came back positive without a doubt. I have been feeling different, and somewhat sick for the past few weeks, and I was kind of expecting this to happen. No matter how much I expected it, seeing those 2 pink lines still surprised me! In a complete state of shock, we went and told both of your grandmas that we were having a baby. What a surprise to them!! Your grandpas were not quite so surprised. Everyone is really excited, despite the shock. The past week has been nerve wracking to say the least, but Mommy has been pretty sick so time went by quickly.

Yesterday was our first doctors appointment. We got to see you on the ultrasound!! You are just a tiny little dot right now, but we saw your heart beating strong and fast. The doctor thought I was 10 weeks pregnant, but after the ultrasound, we discovered I am only about 6 and a half weeks along. You are supposed to be here around September 14th. Words cannot describe the feelings we had when we first saw you on the screen. Even though you don't look like much right now, you are everything to us. Our little bean =). When the doctor handed your Daddy the print out of the ultrasound, he had the most amazed and surprised look on his face.

Although you are tiny, Mommy has been really sick and sleepy for the past 2 weeks. When I'm not sleeping or feeling nauseous, I am eating! You've given me a good appetite! Right now I don't really crave anything specific, just food mostly! I have had super cravings for onion rings and buffalo wings, you are a dream come true for heartburn!!

Mommy and Daddy are really trying to figure out what we are going to do. We are very excited about having a baby, and starting our family. We are just worried about being ready for you! We want to find good jobs and move to a bigger house, so that there is room for you to grow, and for the puppies!

My next doctor appointment is in 4 weeks, and I cannot wait to see you on the ultrasound again!

Until next time, Mommy loves you little bean!

My Story...

Since everyone seems to have a blog on this site, I decided to switch over! Mainly because the current site I use to blog doesn't allow me to edit the layout or templates lol. I am working on copying and pasting all of my previous blogs onto this one, then I will continue blogging on this site. Each blog I am importing is a letter to my baby after the doctor's appointments.

To start things off, I guess I'll go back 5 months to January 15, 2010. This is the day I found out I was pregnant with my little girl. I had been feeling strange for over a month, and had the feeling I was pregnant. I guess you could call it intuition, or chalk it up to really wanting to have a baby! My fiance and I had talked about the possibility of being pregnant, and although we didn't plan on having kids anytime soon [or even at all..it actually crossed my mind to never have a baby!] we decided that if I was pregnant, we would be ecstatic! I took tests every week for the whole month of December, I had missed my period that month and was starting to feel really tired, and nauseous all the time. Every time I took a test, I was extremely disappointed with the single pink line! I knew what I was feeling, and I couldn't understand why it wasn't showing up. I started thinking something may be wrong with me. We went to Las Vegas for New Years Eve, and I took a test the night before we left. It was negative, so I decided to have a good time, and stop worrying for the weekend. I knew that even if I was pregnant it was way too early to do any harm to the baby, and I was truly convinced that it was all in my head at this point.

The days after we came home I felt like I had a permanent hangover, or the flu. I could barely get out of bed, and only made it to the couch once I was up. I could barely eat, and felt really tired. I had quit smoking, and was wearing a patch, so I figured maybe I was having a reaction to it, especially after throwing up 5 times one day. I stopped wearing the patch, and took another test a few days later. I was insanely surprised when I saw two very distinct pink lines pop up almost immediately.

I walked into the bedroom saying "Oh my god, oh my god..wow". My fiance sorta laughed at me, and told me that I shouldn't be surprised since we had been expecting it. It was still a shock!!! I immediately called my insurance, and scheduled an appointment to see a doctor. I had missed my period 2 months in a row, so I thought I was already pretty far along.

We then proceeded to go to his moms house and tell her we were expecting, and she was a little surprised, but not shocked since she already has 4 grandkids. She told us to take another test to be sure, although I knew without a doubt that the first test was 100 percent positive. We stopped and bought another test, and this time my fiance stood with my while we watched the lines appear. Instantly, 2 dark pink lines popped up. My moms reaction on the other hand, wheeeew. She was extremely shocked, and slightly upset. The typical mom deal, worried about our finances and how we would be able to take care of this little miracle. She came around a few weeks later, and is now looking forward to her first grand baby!

The week between the positive test and the doctor's appointment seemed to take months to pass.